A Sick Twisted World Indeed
by Red Witch
Summary: The X-Men react to the Brotherhood's fortune during No Good Deed using song parody. Redone for my amusement.


** The Brotherhood borrowed the disclaimer that I don't own any X-Men characters or any songs from Chicago. I loved 'No Good Deed'. One of the best episodes and nothing made me happier than to see the X-Men burn and Jean Grey in jail! I just had to rewrite this classic parody on the song 'I Know A Girl'. Enjoy! **

**A Sick Twisted World Indeed**

The X-Men were all sitting in the kitchen watching TV. They were stunned at the sight on screen. The sight of course being the Brotherhood being hailed as heroes and interviewed on camera after a recent rash of 'heroic' behavior.

"The world is a sick and twisted place," Kitty grumbled.

"Of course it's not easy being a hero," Todd spoke on TV to the attractive female reporter. "Especially when a lot of people hate your guts. But there's nothing you can do but ignore the insults and continue bravely on."

"Oh you're so brave!" The female reporter twittered.

"Very sick and twisted…" Kitty made a face.

"You know they probably caused all those accidents right?" Scott asked.

"Yes, Scott we know…" Jean sighed.

"But the public doesn't see it! They don't see it! Why don't they **see** it?" Scott asked.

"I have no idea…" Jean sighed again.

"Because they're morons?" Rogue asked.

"I CAN'T **BELIEVE** THIS!" Scott yelled.

"I can't understand it either," Jean sighed. "Why do people love the Brotherhood so much? Why? I mean here we are trying to set a good moral example and being the perfect students and they're much better liked than we are? Even in high school they got away with it! Okay they were thugs and hated by the school but for some odd reason most people thought they were normal troublemakers! We were the ones considered weird all the time!"

**"We?"** Kitty raised an eyebrow.

"Since when before we got outed were **you** ever considered weird Jean?" Rogue asked. "I mean I get the rest of us but when were you seen as weird?"

"Whenever she was hanging around with us," Kurt explained.

"That would do it," Rogue said.

"We always do our homework! Get good grades," Jean went on. "Try to follow the rules. Act like adults and be in control all the time and everybody hates us! Why?"

"It's a mystery to me," Bobby said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

"Those Loserhood jerks are always getting the breaks!" Scott snapped. "Just once I'd like for them to get what's coming to them! And it's not enough just to beat them anymore because they always come back! We mow 'em down, they pop back up again! Like crabgrass!"

"Well they do live in that crappy house with no adult supervision," Bobby began. "Which they wreck all the time doing stupid stunts and goofing off!"

"Not exactly the best example, Bobby," Kitty groaned.

"It's not as great as you think. Nobody buys them food or pays their heat or water bills or stuff," Kurt said. "They have to steal almost everything to survive."

"Which they do rather successfully at least fifty percent of the time," Scott glared at him. "Especially since they learned to steal stuff out of town while we're at school!"

"And for some reason while our mansion got blown up that dump was still standing!" Rogue said. "Now I hear some rich lady is paying for their utilities and is fixing their house! What else you got?"

"Well," Jean thought. "For one thing we got to graduate high school and they got expelled."

"Oh yeah," Kitty said sarcastically. "And we got to stay at Bayville High. Lucky us."

"Getting detention every day for stuff we didn't do was a **blast,"** Bobby added.

"Being called names and harassed in the halls," Kitty added. "And that was the teachers!"

"The entire student body treating us like the plague," Rogue went on.

"Having to go to summer school because some teachers purposely gave us bad grades," Bobby said.

"Losing all our friends and having them turn on us," Ray added. "I'm starting to think Evan was smart going to live with the Morlocks!"

"Don't forget Jean all your scholastic and sports accomplishments were not only taken away all the rest of us were banned from all after school events and clubs!" Rogue said.

"Even the Chess Club wouldn't take us," Kurt said. "And they're not exactly known for being picky!"

"And let's not forget our graduation with Magneto and Company showing up at the beginning of the ceremony," Scott added. "We got some **lovely** letters in the mail after that episode!"

"Not to mention some nice dead animals," Kurt added.

"And more anti mutant graffiti on our walls," Rogue spoke up.

"And let's not forget the next day Kelly announces his candidacy for Mayor on a mutant registration platform!" Scott spat.

"At least you and I got our diplomas," Jean said to Scott.

"What there is of them," Scott gave her a look. "You don't really think they came to us smashed and torn by accident do you?"

"We put up with all this crap while the Brotherhood spend all their free time goofing off, watching TV, sleeping late and finding ways to make our lives miserable!" Kitty threw up her hands. "And now they're being rewarded for it!"

"Yeah I'm starting to think the Brotherhood is smarter than they look," Bobby nodded.

Todd was back to schmoozing with the female interviewer. "Well Natalie…Can I call you Natalie? Being a mutant is never easy! And it's even worse when other mutants consider you a reject."

"That's because you are a reject!" Rogue growled in disgust.

"They say that you're never be good enough to join their team because you're not powerful enough or aggressive enough," Todd went on, hamming it up. "Now I'm not saying we in the Brotherhood haven't made a few mistakes or wrong choices. I mean we're only human aren't we? Well sort of. Do you have a tissue?"

Natalie handed Todd a tissue which he used to dab his eyes. "Thank you," Todd said. "We just want to do good you know? Put our powers to some use for once in our lives. Is that so wrong?"

A sympathetic Awwwwwww, was heard from the audience. "And the award for Best Acting by a Slime Ball goes to…" Rogue quipped.

"Well I gotta admit that Toad is certainly good at PR. Look at him hamming it up!" Kurt fumed.

"Yeah but his act has people actually buying the notion that mutants can be good guys," Kitty pointed out. "Which is really ironic. Which I have discovered is another phrase that means the world sucks."

"And you know they are gonna screw it up for the rest of us sooner or later! I just know it!" Scott fumed.

"Okay so we weren't exactly perfect students," Todd went on. "But who is? Am I right? At least when we cheated on a test we did it the old fashioned way. By looking up answers the night before and writing them on a piece of paper. Which is technically research. Unlike **some people **who prefer to get their answers from other's people's heads if you catch my drift."

"WHAT?" Jean shouted. "Okay! He's **dead!** I'm gonna smash that lying little tongue of his!"

"Do it live on the evening news," Rogue quipped. "That'll be a fun show."

"I can't stand it anymore!" Scott started to sing. _"Can you imagine? I mean can you imagine? Do you believe it? I mean do you believe it?" _

"I'm seeing it but I still don't believe it," Kurt shook his head.

"I know," Bobby said. "Who knew Scott knew how to sing?"

_ "I know some guys, these guys land on top!"_ Scott kept singing. _"You could kick them down in the mud and slop. But they come up smelling like a rose! How they do it, heaven knows!" _

Natalie went on. "Is it true that you used to get into fights with the X-Men at school?"

"Yeah they used to pick on us all the time," Pietro spoke up. "I mean three or four against 6? What kind of odds are those? They even tried to push their weight around other students even though we stood up to them!"

"Yeah just ask Duncan Matthews about a certain parking lot incident," Todd grinned.

_"I know some jerks, these jerks have so much luck_!" Scott kept singing. "_They could get run over by a two ton truck and brush themselves off and walk away! How they do it, I couldn't say!" _

"We may have made our share of accidents, but the X-Men aren't totally innocent as you like 'em to believe," Lance added. "They run all kinds of weird experiments up there in that mansion. Wanna take a wild guess how monsters appeared at the Sadie Hawkins Dance?"

_"While us on the other hand_," Scott fumed. _"Make one mistake and everyone's on our back! Anything goes wrong gives them an excuse to attack! We on the other hand, get run over by a truck and we are deader than a duck! I know these jerks who tell so many lies! Anything that's true would really cross their eyes! But what these jerks are selling, the whole world buys! And nobody smells __**a rat!"**_

"Or in their case a **toad,"** Kitty wrinkled her nose.

"Oh thank you so much ladies and gentlemen," Todd kept on his performance. "Nothing means more to us than your cards and letters of support."

_ "Can you imagine? I mean can you imagine?" _Scott's voice got louder as he sang.

"Not to mention any financial contributions you wish to make," Todd grinned.

_ "DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?"_ Scott yelled. _"I MEAN DO YOU __**BELIEVE**__ THIS?"_

"You know a lot of people have lost faith in America and what it stands for," Lance spoke up.

"You know a lot of people have lost faith in America…" Scott mocked in a high voice. "What is he doing? Running for office?"

"Well the Brotherhood is living proof of what a wonderful country this is!" Lance grinned. "Anybody can make it here! And we mean **anybody!**"

"And the Brotherhood…" Scott mocked them in a funny voice. "Is living proof of…" Then he made gagging noises and started pounding his head on the wall. "OH THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT ON SO MANY LEVELS! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM!"

"Scott cool it!" Kurt warned. "You're going to put a dent in the wall!"

"I'm just so frustrated!" Scott stopped. "I can't take it anymore! I can't imagine anyone else hating the Brotherhood as much as I do right now!"

"Actually Scott, I can think of **one** person who hates the Brotherhood even more than you do," Rogue smirked.

Meanwhile at the same time across town…

"I can't believe this!" Kelly moaned as he watched the television in his campaign office. "This is not happening!"

The TV showed a newscaster. "In a surprising poll, we questioned if any member of the Brotherhood was running for mayor would people vote for them? An astounding 75 percent said they would. With 20 percent for the current mayor and only 4 percent for Edward Kelly. The rest remain undecided."

At that Kelly got up and started pounding his head against the wall. "And to think when I expelled them I thought I saw the **last** of them! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM!"


End file.
